PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize