Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
