Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
