That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
