whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
