You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
