She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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