in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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