Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
