Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
