Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
