i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
