my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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