He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
