about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize