mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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