Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
