Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
