M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
