how can u be prego again
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
