When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
