so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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