Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
North Korea, Best Korea!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
