god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
