Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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