p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
