How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
