We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
