how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
