Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
