Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
