Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
