I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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