i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
