Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
