A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
