Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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