he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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