9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize