Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
