the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
