he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
