dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
