my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
