there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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