We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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