Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
