I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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