to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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