yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
