I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He better not be in your backpack
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
