Dual....:-)
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you had me at cake vodka
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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