I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
