i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
