I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
