Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
tell me about the fingering
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
