I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
