my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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