her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
