I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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