Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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