I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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