Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize