Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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