Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
